Lost in the Mail
by FaithinBones
Summary: Booth receives an envelope in the mail from Maluku. This takes place after "The Twist in the Twister".


This takes place after the "The Twist in the Twister"

I was talking to Megwill the other day and she was talking about her husband's deployment. We were talking about the fact that he isn't getting any letters right now and this popped into my head. I'm not quite sure why. My mind just works that way.

I don't own Bones.

Oooooooooooooooooooo

It was a Saturday and Booth had decided to stay home and do nothing. His last case had been an emotional one for him and in a way exhausting. In his effort to protect Brennan from the dangers of field work, he had lied to her and left her out of part of his investigation. He and Sweets, in the pursuit of a murderer had ended up in a dangerous situation and found themselves in the path of a tornado. He had not found out that Brennan was determined to follow him into the field until she had arrived at the storm shelter just before the storm had hit. When the door to the shelter had opened, Booth felt like his insides had turned to water when he had found himself looking at Brennan walking down the steps into the storm shelter. That she couldn't seem to understand his anxiety both frustrated and frightened him. All he could picture in his mind was Brennan crushed in the storm and dying all alone except for the baby she had inside of her.

Brennan had planned on working on some of her bones in Limbo during the weekend; so; even though she really didn't really understand his anxiety she was more than happy to give Booth the solitude he seemed to want.

At around noon, Booth went down to the lobby of his apartment building and checked the mail. He found an envelope in his mail box that had a return address of Fort Benning, Georgia. Puzzled, Booth carried the envelope up to his apartment and into his living room. Sitting on his couch, Booth opened the envelope and found two letters and a smaller envelope about the size of a CD. Unfolding one of the letters he found that it was an apology from the post master in Ambon, Maluku telling him that the enclosed letter had apparently fallen behind a sorting machine and hadn't been found until the machine had been taken apart to fix something wrong with it. The postmaster hoped that getting the envelope after a more than a year and a half delay hadn't inconvenienced him. The second letter was from the postmaster at Fort Benning, Georgia. The postmaster there had written that the letter was sent to him because Booth was no longer in the service and his APO address was no longer valid. He'd found out where Booth was living and forwarded the letter and the CD envelope to him.

Putting the letters on the couch next to him, Booth picked up the CD sized envelope and opened it. The DVD inside had a hand written title: "From Bones."

Curious, Booth walked over to his PC, sat down on the chair, booted up his PC and then put the DVD into the CD drive and waited to see if anything popped up on his screen. Hearing the whirring sound coming from the CD drive, Booth watched a video start up on his monitor:

Bones was sitting on a chair and there seemed to be some trees behind her. She looked tired and a little anxious. Staring intently in the screen, she began to speak:

Hi, Booth. I know I haven't been writing to you and you're probably curious as to why. I had a lot to think about when I came to Maluku and I needed to make sure of my thoughts before I spoke them to you.

As you know, I was very unhappy after Taffet's trial. Part of the reason for that was when you asked me to give us a chance in our relationship I refused to do so and I felt that I had hurt you. I didn't want to do that; but, I really didn't think that I could give you what you wanted. I'm not like most people. I don't show my feelings like other people. I never have. I didn't want you to count on me to show you the love you want and deserve. I have feelings; but, I just don't know how to show them and those people I do love may not be able to see it. I was afraid that if I did give us a chance that you would grow to hate me. I love you Booth and I couldn't bear for you to hate me.

The other reason was that I was worried about you all of the time. I worried that you might get seriously hurt and I wouldn't be able to help you or that you might die and I would lose you forever. Your job is dangerous and I started to worry every time we got a new case. I couldn't help it. The trial against Taffet just reinforced that fear. She had kidnapped you and with only a few minutes to spare, I saved you before the ship you were on blew up. I was afraid that I wouldn't be good enough the next time your life was in jeopardy and I wouldn't be able to save you.

I had terrible nightmares after you were kidnapped. They got mixed up with my nightmares that I've had ever since Taffet kidnapped me and Hodgins and buried us alive. My nights were long and exhausting. After you had rescued me from the dirt at the open mine, when I had been kidnapped, my nightmares came every night without fail. Later, as time went by, they seemed to become fewer and farther apart until Taffet's trial was upon us. Once the trial started the nightmares returned with an increased intensity.

I was afraid, Booth. I was afraid all of the time. I needed time and space to think. When the chance came to go to the Maluku Islands to become part of a very important Archeological dig I couldn't turn it down. I know you didn't understand and I feared that you thought I was abandoning you; but, I wasn't doing that Booth.

This trip was important to me. It allowed me to use my skills in a way I hadn't been able to do for a very long time. It allowed me to be free from murder cases and it allowed me to be away from you.

I know that sounds harsh and I don't mean it to be. I needed to be away from you so I could think about us.

I want you to know that since I've been here, I've thought about you and us all of the time. I've thought about what you want in life and what I want in life and I have discovered something important. I don't want to live without you Booth. I love you and I can now admit that to you. I love you Booth.

I'm supposed to come back in six more months. When I do, I hope that you will ask me again to give us a chance. If you do ask me that I will be able to tell you that the answer is yes. I can and will give us that chance you spoke of.

I hope you will give us that chance, Booth. When we meet at the coffee cart, I will wait for you to ask me. Please Booth, ask me.

Smiling, Brennan leaned forward and the screen went black.

Stunned, Booth sat at the table, looking at his monitor until the screen saver popped up. Feeling like a zombie, Booth slowly stood up and walked in to his bedroom. Lying on his bed, Booth put his right arm across his eyes and started to weep.

Oooooooooooooo

Brennan had tried to call Booth several times during the afternoon and after getting his voice mail for the sixth time, Brennan became anxious. Leaving the Jeffersonian, she had arrived at Booth's apartment to find it quiet. Instead of the TV blaring and Booth on the couch enraptured by a game, he was no where to be seen. Frowning, Brennan walked through the apartment and arrived at their bedroom door. Looking through the doorway, Brennan saw Booth lying on the bed, looking up at the ceiling.

Walking over to the bed, Brennan sat down next to Booth and asked, "What's going on Booth? Are you still angry with me for driving into the storm? I thought we had settled that issue?"

Closing his eyes for a second, Booth opened them and turned on his side towards her. Putting his right hand on the small of her back, Booth asked, "Why didn't you tell me that you had mailed me a DVD from Maluku, Bones? Why didn't you say something on the steps near the coffee cart?"

Frowning, Brennan responded, "I don't understand? Why are you bringing that up now?"

Sighing, Booth explained, "I just got your DVD this morning, Bones. It's been lost in the mail ever since you mailed it."

Frowning, Brennan sighed, "When you didn't ask me, I thought you didn't want to. You showed me a picture of your girlfriend and I thought you had moved on after all. You had told me that you would do so when we were standing in front of the Hoover and I hadn't believed that you really would. Before I left for Maluku, I hadn't seen any signs that you were going to do that. I felt that I had time to figure out if we were really compatible enough to be the couple you wanted us to be. When we met at the coffee cart and I saw the photo I realized that you had moved on and I didn't want to make you sad again by telling you that I wanted us to try after all. I was still uncertain that I could give myself to you the way you wanted me to and I felt certain that even though I loved you, you would not be able to see that in me. I wanted you to be happy; so, I didn't say anything."

Frowning, Booth complained, "You never sent me any mail, that I knew of while I was in Afghanistan; so, I thought you had severed our partnership. I knew that you didn't want me as anything more than a partner and when you didn't try to contact me while I was in Afghanistan I just assumed that you didn't want me as a partner anymore. I was pretty sure that when we got back you weren't going to want to work with me anymore. I was alone and lonely and I was pretty sure the woman that I loved the most in this world didn't want anything to do with me anymore. I met Hannah and I just felt desperate. I didn't want to be alone any more Bones. I was forty years old and as far as I could tell I was going to be alone for the rest of my life. That scared the Hell out of me."

Staring at the wall in front of her, Brennan commented, "I thought you loved Hannah and I didn't want to wreck your chance at having a happy life."

Nodding his head, Booth said, "I thought I did love Hannah, Bones. I tried to love her anyways. I thought she was my last chance finding someone to be with me. I thought if I couldn't get her to stay with me then I would be alone for the rest of my life. I was afraid Bones. I've been alone for most of my life. I was afraid that I couldn't do that any more and I threw myself at Hannah hoping that I could prevent that. If I had received that DVD in Afghanistan I would have been the happiest man alive. I would have waited until you were back from Maluku and I was back from Afghanistan and I would have asked you the question the minute I saw you. I'm sorry Bones. I didn't know how you felt about us when we met on the steps. I didn't realize that you had changed your mind."

Sitting up, Booth moved himself down the bed and then swung his legs off of the bed. Sitting next to Brennan, Booth put his left arm around her shoulders, "I am so sorry, Bones. It was all my fault. That whole mess with Hannah was my fault and I'm sorry."

Reaching over and picking up Booth's right hand, Brennan held it, "This wasn't your fault Booth. I should have made sure that you got my DVD. I should have called you and asked or I should have asked when we met at the Mall; but, when you didn't ask me to give us a chance I thought you didn't want to. I didn't realize that trusting the mail with our happiness was a foolish thing to do. This was my fault."

Laughing, Booth squeezed Brennan's shoulders, "You know what? This was the post office's fault. They screwed us Bones. They screwed us big time."

Smiling, Brennan remarked, "Governmental organizations have been doing that for centuries, Booth."

Smiling, Booth agreed, "Yep, neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night will keep us from our daily rounds except for some dumb ass piece of equipment that eats letters and packages and God knows how many other lives we can screw up; but, we're the God damn postal service and we deliver the mail even if it's years down the road."

ooooooooooooooooooo

I know I don't do Brennan's voice very well when I write her; but, I hope this story conveyed the since of hope that Brennan had when she discovered that she could give Booth and her a chance if he would just ask her. Let me know what you think. Reviews would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.


End file.
